Meeting Structure
1. Decide on a topic of discussion and form questions
Before meeting, we decide on a particular topic of discussion which we collectively vote on. At previous meetings we have discussed commitment and monogamy, contraceptives, abortion, pregnancy, sexual orientation, and medical and mental health care.
We then submit questions to our event organizer who compiles them.
Examples of previous questions:
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How do you feel about monogamy, commitment, and fidelity? How have your feelings changed over time?
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As a medical patient, what experiences have you had that may have felt subjugating, oppressive or objectifying?
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What were you taught about contraceptives and safe sex? Who first told you about them? What did your parents have to say about them? Your peers?
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How did you first learn about abortion? What were you told about it? What is your family’s opinion? Your school?
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What did you know about different sexual orientations/gender identities in grade school and high school? What was your school’s stance on non-normative sexuality and gender?
2. Form a circle, giving everyone a chance to talk about their experiences with the option to pass
At a meeting, we go around in a circle allowing everyone to answer the same question. This enables everyone a space to answer and also helps us to listen to each other, breaking down unequal power and control.
If you can’t think of something to say on the spot, you can pass and you will have a chance to respond after everyone else has answered. If you still don’t have anything to say, you do not have to respond and may pass on answering the question.
No one is obligated to answer any question nor do they need to provide a reason for why they pass on answering. They may not feel the question is relevant to them or have some other reason for not answering. Please, refrain from pressuring them to answer or asking them why they passed.
Some individuals may not want to participate in answering any questions at all and may wish to observe a CR meeting. This is perfectly acceptable. No one is obligated to respond to any question.
3. Cross-Talk
Once everyone has had a chance to answer a question, we can open the question up to the group so we have a chance to have a more interactive dialogue about the question and a chance to reflect on the question.
Ground Rules
Confidentiality
CR discussions are confidential. Please, refrain from repeating what anyone says to others outside the group.
Don’t interrupt
Except to ask a specific informational question or to clarify a point.
If someone else’s experience reminds you of one of yours, you might take note so that you remember what it is you wish to say during ‘cross-talk’. Everyone will get a chance to speak.
Refrain from challenging anyone’s experiences or beliefs
Try to accept that what another says is true for them, even if it may seem wrong to you.
Keep in mind that they may never before have had a chance to talk about themselves without being interrupted or challenged. Also, their perspective and experiences are just as valid as your own.
Refrain from giving advice
The purpose of CR is not to give advice about your day-to-day problems but to help you gain strength through others’ knowledge, perspective and experiences.